Our resident petrol head DESMOND LESETEDI has witnessed an Aston Martin Vantage barrelling down the streets of the capital in a baritone that would have left even the great Barry White embarrassed. A Red Ferrari has also been shrieking down Old Lobatse road with wild abandon, turning the heads of both young and old, both sexes included. Pity you can’t pop in some local showroom and get those, but hey, South Africa is a flight away if you need one, and you really need one. The last year was a good year for that inflation-recession proof class, he observes.
Connoisseurs are a lot that are not blown about by every wind. They know quality and are quite skeptical about brands sprouting about every other Friday. They are specialists of taste and are not impressed by halfway houses that try to cater for all tastes. These are people I respect and for a simple reason: You have to have made it to become a choosy connoisseur. How are you going to be all choosy when you are down and out on your luck? It’s raining cats and dogs and you are stranded by the side of the road past midnight, you think you are not going to wave down even a smoke belching truck carrying pigs? Plus the word “connoisseur” sounds rich. In fact, it should be one of those words that are used in weighing out the level of sophistication of people around you.
You can’t be a poor connoisseur. It’s a contradiction of terms, unless you are just passing through poverty and not stuck in it. That said, the motoring world caters for both sides of the fence, though there really is no car for the “poor” because cars come at a price. But there are some really lofty vehicles that even the connoisseurs have to do some soul searching before plumping for. The year 2015 was chock full of them. I have witnessed an Aston Martin Vantage barrelling down the streets of the capital in a baritone that would have left even the great Barry White embarrassed. A Red Ferrari has also been shrieking down Old Lobatse road with wild abandon, turning the heads of both young and old, both sexes included. Pity you can’t pop in some local showroom and get those, but hey, South Africa is a flight away if you need one, and you really need one.
Now this is where that discerning choosy bit comes in, because let’s face it, you can buy an M4, but some pretender will go ahead and get a bog standard 4 series, option the M-bits on it and people who are none the wiser will confuse the two, same story with AMGs, nowadays even a simple diesel C-class comes with an aggressive body kit that looks just like the AMG stuff. So what’s one to do now? Buy the absolute top of the range and dust yourself off of pretenders. Below is a list of classy stratospheric set of wheels from 2015 that some boy racer can only dream of:
S-Class coupe
When it comes to luxury limos, no one does it better than Mercedes S-class on the local scene. Dictators and heads of states want to be seen on the backseat of one, being chauffeured around while lounging in the back sipping some chilled spirits. But a true connoisseur will go for the two door version, or better yet the convertible option. So your golfing mate asks you, “Say, what do you drive mate?” you calmly respond saying S-class. He thinks yeah, predictable. Now watch his jaw drop to the floor when you turn up in a drop-top S-class, how cool is that? Even BMW or Audi can’t pull such class. This is opulence on par with Bentleys and Rolls Royces. It is properly senior. This was Merc’s finest hour in 2015 and still very very new. Get it please.
AMG GT
We all remember that SLS gullwing monster that Mercedes did and categorically turned the car-world around in awe? Well they sadly discontinued that and replaced it with the AMG GT. It is still as ballistic as the unhinged SLS, long snout, knee trembling exhaust note and looks that makes you drop the grocery at the parking lot. There is nothing like a Mercedes AMG on full chart. This is a car that competes with Porsches’ venerable 911 and you are sure not to bump into an identical one in town, rare stuff. Not displayed at Naledi Motors, but they can order one for you.
Range Rover SPORT SVR
The loony tunes from the respected English crafters. Ranger Rovers are about serenity and opulence, not noise and drag races. This one is about serenity and opulence and noise and break-neck pace. It will embarrass Golf GTis all day long and some badly driven AMGs and Ms. It is from the Special Vehicle Operations branch of Land Rover and that alone tells you more than you need to know, very senior. You will be jazzed up at the quarterly meetings from all the rush.
Porsche Cayenne Turbo
The only SUV that will embarrass that lairy SVR in outright speed and exclusivity. It is a Porsche after all and as such built for speed, though the Cayenne can do some respectable off-roading, something that no owner will dare do anyway. Although it has no dealership locally, Porsche’s Cayenne has enjoyed some representation here and gets mighty respected on the roads. It is not for boys.
Bentley Bentayga
You have never heard of it and when you hear of its price you will weep. This is Bentley’s first foray into the very lucrative world of SUVs. Like the Porsche above, it has no local representation, but South Africa has some showrooms. It’s an extraordinary, opulent environment, this, with enough wood and leather to retrim the Queen Elizabeth 2. It takes, says Bentley, 130 hours for 53 artisans to handcraft each Bentayga, and the quality of the workmanship – from the stitching to the leather to the shimmering veneer to the chocolaty hides – is unsurpassed. It aims to make a Range Rover look as common as a Run X and it has a top speed of 300km/hr.
AUDI R8 V10
Audi does in fact make some fantastic cars and some meh cars. The R8 is sold only on order, so you are unlikely to find one standing by at Barloworld. This is a true supercar out and out, but one that you can live with and drive daily. It is a thing of beauty, a thing of speed and exclusivity. It competes with the likes of Lamborghini Huracan and the Ferrari 488, true supercars. The beauty of it is that if you can afford to buy a Range Rover Sport or BMW X5M or an S-class, then you can afford to buy this too.
Now 2015 had a lot more exciting cars, but sometimes we have to look at stuff that separates the common people from connoisseurs, indulge a bit and revel in luxury and speed or both. Only two of the above cars are sold locally, and even then you still have to wait a while to get one. That’s stuff of connoisseurs and this year was dripping with such automotive delights.